My baby is better than yours.

Have you ever heard of the "mom goggles"? If you are like me and love watching the 80's throwback show 'The Goldbergs', you may have seen the episode on "mom goggles". They are owned by every mother; they give us the ability to never see any imperfection in our child and to see that our child is clearly better then every other child in every way. {Side note: if you haven't watched that show and grew up in the 80's its a must see!} 

As my child is beginning to hit some milestones its really hard not to compare her to other babies. Most of the time my mom goggles are on and I think my child is better then any other child. But occasionally I play the comparing game. I start looking at the other babies in the play group and compare them to my child or I compare her to what 'BabyCenter.com' says about where my child should be developmentally. Its a bad game to play. Especially, since my little one was born two months early, she's a little behind on the curve. I begin to think I'm doing something wrong since she isn't sitting up yet or hates being on her tummy. But isn't this just another cruel game we've let society play with us?

One of the things I have struggled most with in my life is comparing. I compare my beauty, my body, my talents, my clothes, my marriage, my house, shoot I've even compared my dog! Every time I compare I end up feeling bad about myself. Because I usually compare to someone who has more, looks prettier, is more fit, has more money, has everything I want and then I look at my lot and see nothing. Its a very vicious game. Comparing my life to others has brought me to some of my lowest moments in my life. It has bred insecurity and welcomed fear into my heart. And no matter how much I try to stop it, before long I start sneaking in some comparing thoughts. It's like an addiction that destroys my uniqueness

As far back as I can remember I compared myself to people around me. I even remember being in kindergarten and noticing that I didn't have nearly as many barbies as my best friend and for some reason I thought her blonde curly hair was prettier then my black straight hair. Comparing has literally made me miss out on opportunities because of my lack of self worth. And here I am starting this game with my daughter. Well not anymore. 

Blame it on media, blame it on our society, whatever the origin we need to stop it. I don't ever want my daughter feeling less or thinking of others less because she is comparing herself to those around her. I want to raise her with the full awareness of who she is and the awareness of the beauty in everyone. Easier said then done right? Since we've been comparing for so long, how do we stop it? How do we end it in future generations?

1. Learn to love: Learn to love yourself first of all. If my daughter sees me comparing myself in the mirror to the models on Pinterest, she will definitely follow my foot steps. So instead of looking in the mirror and stating how much I hate my baby belly, I look in the mirror and declare that I love my tummy. I love my body. Power of life and death are in the tongue. Speak the opposite of the negative that you may think about yourself, even if you don't believe it. Your words have power; speak love over who you are. Eventually you will start believing the truth about who you are!

2. Learn to rejoice in others: Now this is the hardest for me; I still haven't mastered this. Being able to rejoice when someone else has something you've been wanting or gets that promotion, house, new car, raise, etc.. when you've been praying for the same thing isn't easy. Jealousy and envy are much easier to come into agreement with, when you've been believing for that very thing that your friend just received. But this is a key moment that gives you the opportunity to really grow. We must learn to be sincerely happy and join in with their rejoicing. Letting go of all bitterness and envy, and embracing celebration with our friends. And again stop comparing ourselves with them. Because if we try to figure out why they got it when we've been a "better" person (servant, Christian, worker etc.) we put our self in a very proud and lofty place. Or even if we compare ourselves to them by thinking that they deserved it more then ourselves because we aren't that great anyway, then we diminish who God has created us to be. Both comparisons will leave us filling empty and disappointed. Instead rejoice with them and choose to rejoice in all that God has done in your life. Even if that "one" thing that you've been praying for hasn't come yet, know that God is a good Father and knows your hearts desire. Continue to trust and believe that your time of answered prayers will come. 

3. Be determined: Not comparing is very difficult. Like I said, it sneaks in and then we become addicted. We have to really be aware of our thoughts and take captive any lie that could tear down who God made us to be. Whether it is in regards to our body, our financial status, our children, our house, our talents whatever it may be, just know that your path will never look the same as someone else. You may see them as having it all, but they may be thinking the same toward you. Learn to build up and honor each-other, because you don't really know the path that got them there and what sacrifices they have made. And even if their road was easier, you are taking a path that is uniquely designed for what God has planned for your life. Be determined to seek out and understand what God is doing in and through you. And leave everyone else to their own journey. 

I pray that the next generation will learn to celebrate each other and honor each other in their individuality. I hope for my children that they will see an example of a mother who knows who she is and honors those around her. So they may learn to be confident in who they are while at the same time encouraging others to become who God created them to be.